Soooooo, I’mma make this pretty quick because honestly speaking, this topic isn’t my area of expertise…
Ayesha Curry has literally set the internet on blaze with some recent comments she made on Jada Pinkett Smith, “Red Table Talk Show.” I’ll drop a link to the entire video discussion below, and I encourage everyone to watch the entire discussion.
The topic was essentially centered around life as the “First Ladies of the NBA.” Below is a quick quote used to describe this weeks episode…
“Jada, Gammy, and Willow travel to North Carolina to the private home of NBA Royalty to meet the Queens of the Curry Dynasty! Basketball superstar Steph Curry’s wife Ayesha Curry, his mother, little sister and future sister in law get real about everything from anxiety issues to flirtatious female fans. It’s Real Talk with REAL NBA Wives.”
Iight, so what has the internet on fire is something Ayesha Curry said when the ladies were discussing ways they deal with female groupies when they shoot their shot at their husbands.
This is what she said…
“Something that really bothers me, and honestly has given me a sense of a little bit of an insecurity, is the fact that yeah, there are all these women, like, throwing themselves (at him), but me, like the past 10 years, I don’t have any of that,” she said. “I have zero – this sounds weird – but, like, male attention, and so then I begin to internalize it, and I’m like, ‘Is something wrong with me?”
She went on to say, “I don’t want it, but it’d be nice to know that, like, someone’s lookin’.”
Honestly speaking, when I first saw her comments I was hella confused and a bit speechless…
Like most man commenting on the subject, I didn’t see the actual discussion before making my first judgments.
I remember thinking to myself…
“What the f*ck? Isn’t she married? Why would she even want extra attention?”
“She’s too fine to be talking about insecurities… “
I even remember asking myself, “what if Steph would’ve said some shit like this?”
I no longer have those thoughts, and I’m lowkey glad I didn’t make a joke out of her comments on social like most guys did.
Related Source: No Spice: Twitter Drags Ayesha Curry After Saying She Doesn’t Get Attention From Men
However, I will say a few memes had me weak…
Anyway, on a serious tip, I think this is another chance for us men to learn something.
So first things first, go watch the entire discussion.
They say hindsight is 2020, well I realized the biggest mistake I made was judging Ayesha’s comments outside of its context…
Reading Ayesha’s comments through headlines like these; “Ayesha Curry admits a lack of male attention makes her wonder, ‘Is something wrong with me?” from a men’s perspective can be triggering. Trust me, I know.
But we have to understand the context in which Ayesha said these things. Once you do that you’ll understand that it’s not as simple as her just wanting attention from other men, but something much deeper…
I was reading through some of the comments on an article that was discussing the backlash Ayesha got from her comments when I ran across a word I never heard before.
The word was Postpartum Depression.
Postpartum depression (PPD), also called postnatal depression, is a type of mood disorder associated with childbirth, which can affect both sexes but primarily mothers most. Symptoms may include extreme sadness, low energy, anxiety, crying episodes, irritability, and changes in sleeping or eating patterns. While the exact cause of PPD is unclear, the cause is believed to be a combination of physical and emotional factors.
I’m not saying Ayesha is suffering from Postpartum, because I’m not a licensed phycologist. However, I think it’s important for us men to realize that things aren’t always black & white.
We can’t continue to look at things through our own lens…
Especially, when it comes to understanding the emotions/mental strains that come with childbirth and being a mother in today society.
Not to mention the fact that patriarchy has created an unbalance in the power structure of our society. Which mean the entire “role reversal argument” is not only tone death but it’s honestly complete nonsense.
It’s almost like the whole black people and “reverse-racism” argument. Racism is a structure, not individual acts of discrimination. Racism is a social construct that grants privileges to some while oppressing others. So it’s technically impossible for white people to experience racism here in America because black people don’t have the power to create laws that grant privileges to some while oppressing others.
Related Source: Whiteness: The Ultimate Social Control Weapon
Like racism, patriarchy is a social construct that grants privileges to some and oppresses others.
I know some of this might be over y’all heads and that’s ok because I have a challenge for you…
My Challenge to You
I have a challenge for all my fellas out there that felt triggered by Ayesha’s comments.
RESEARCH & LISTEN. Start educating yourself about these topics, so that when the lady in your life is going through a rough patch you’ll know what to say and what not to say. Google is our best friend bruh, so it’s honestly no excuse for us to be ignorant about these topics.
I’d like to say, thanks for being willing to view the matter from a different perspective. I think what bothered me about people’s reactions the most is that 1) They were judging the statements out of proper context and 2) They were refusing to analyze what she was saying and chose to attack her and make assumptions. As I told a friend, it has less to do with “wanting attention” and “being ungrateful” than it does with the whole idea of self-image and identity. A woman still wants to be viewed as a woman, as a human, before being viewed as just someone’s mother or someone’s wife. I feel like people were just blowing it up more than they needed to. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Sidenote: as much as I hated what people were doing, some of the memes did make me laugh
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Thank you for reading! Yeah I had to be honest, and for most guys that’s tough. Especially when headlines take her quotes out of context just to trigger folks smh.
This isn’t really my area of expertise either but since I saw a shit ton of guys attacking her I felt like it was only right to share my thoughts.